16 miles (Monday-Friday)
It’s taper time. And I’m burned out. I could write about how I feel, but it was done so eloquently here on Kate’s blog.
And yes, I realize this is going to come across as whiny and probably ungrateful. And I’m sorry. I know I’m complaining about some things that most people would be glad to just do. Things at Casa de Striding Mom have been really tough for the last month in the personal arena leaving me spent, burnt out (beyond running) and probably excessively whiny. Maybe I’m a brat, but mostly, I’m just really raw.
Boston is in 10 days and I should be all, “Yay I’m running Boston!” but honestly I’m mostly conflicted.
I had a goal – a super goal. I wanted to get my tiny hiney to scoot 26.2 miles in 3:2x (fill in the x with any number of your choosing).
After the impromptu marathon training cycle that was hit by all sorts of craptastic weather, viruses, bacteria and a crap-ton of antibiotics and an adaptive schedule that required more flexibility than a Cirque de Soleil contortionist, I’m resigned to go from big goal to just finish.
And then there’s the whole matter of “Yay! I get to go to Boston [I’ve never been, totally un-American, right? I haven’t spent much time on the right coast] and explore a new city!“.
Instead I’m mostly in tears every time I think about leaving these buttheads behind.
Not to mention the plague of inadequacy that has taken over. I have run one marathon before this. ONE. Ask me to run a half and I’ll do it on the drop of a hat pretty much any day, anywhere, but I have about ZERO comfort in my ability to run another full marathon. Does that make me an un-super runner? Maybe, but mostly I think I’m just one who really likes running 13.1 miles because she has 2 jobs and 3 kids and zero free time to train to run 26.2 without sucking the life out of me.
Am I coming across as whiny and ungrateful? Probably.
I know, #firstworldproblems…blah, blah, blah…I’m being annoying.
Am I sorry? Mostly.
If you want to give me a kick in the pants reality check in the comments, go for it. I could probably use it. And if you have any advice on how to sneak 3 kids in a suitcase, feel free to let me know.