Blech, Blerg, Blarg…

16 miles (Monday-Friday)
Slacking Strides

It’s taper time.  And I’m burned out.  I could write about how I feel, but it was done so eloquently here on Kate’s blog.

And yes, I realize this is going to come across as whiny and probably ungrateful.  And I’m sorry.  I know I’m complaining about some things that most people would be glad to just do. Things at Casa de Striding Mom have been really tough for the last month in the personal arena leaving me spent, burnt out (beyond running) and probably excessively whiny.  Maybe I’m a brat, but mostly, I’m just really raw.  

usually-set-aside-sunday-cry-for-help-ecard-someecards

Boston is in 10 days and I should be all, “Yay I’m running Boston!” but honestly I’m mostly conflicted.

I had a goal – a super goal.  I wanted to get my tiny hiney to scoot 26.2 miles in 3:2x (fill in the x with any number of your choosing).

You pick yourself up off the floor yet?

Insert your best laughing face….You pick yourself up off the floor yet?

After the impromptu marathon training cycle that was hit by all sorts of craptastic weather, viruses, bacteria and a crap-ton of antibiotics and an adaptive schedule that required more flexibility than a Cirque de Soleil contortionist, I’m resigned to go from big goal to just finish.

Eh.

And then there’s the whole matter of “Yay! I get to go to Boston [I’ve never been, totally un-American, right? I haven’t spent much time on the right coast] and explore a new city!“.

Instead I’m mostly in tears every time I think about leaving these buttheads behind.

2013-01-301Not to mention the plague of inadequacy that has taken over.  I have run one marathon before this.  ONE.  Ask me to run a half and I’ll do it on the drop of a hat pretty much any day, anywhere, but I have about ZERO comfort in my ability to run another full marathon.  Does that make me an un-super runner?  Maybe, but mostly I think I’m just one who really likes running 13.1 miles because she has 2 jobs and 3 kids and zero free time to train to run 26.2 without sucking the life out of me.

Am I coming across as whiny and ungrateful?  Probably.

I know, #firstworldproblems…blah, blah, blah…I’m being annoying.

Am I sorry?  Mostly.

If you want to give me a kick in the pants reality check in the comments, go for it.  I could probably use it.  And if you have any advice on how to sneak 3 kids in a suitcase, feel free to let me know.

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16 thoughts on “Blech, Blerg, Blarg…

  1. “Plagued by inadequacy” brilliant explanation. Man I’m sorry. I don’t know what to say except I wish you could sleep interrupted for a week. It’s crazy how much life stresses drains us. Truly. Good luck gurl!

  2. Don’t beat yourself up. Spring (or any season in which your expected to be a parent) marathon training is tough. I’ve run Boston three times, it’s definitely worth all the misery for the experience, no matter how you feel about your performance that day. The city is excited for you, even if you aren’t! Soak up the experience and try to enjoy the long run with 23,000 other folks!
    I’ve taken the family once, and it’s hard to leave buttheads big and small behind, but they will love you forever if you bring home lobster shaped gummi snacks. Trust.
    Have a great race and a fantastic trip! Sending positive energy your way!

  3. Here’s what: You may have only run one marathon, but you did it well. And your other races (recent ones!0 show that you can run very well. I think 3:2x is still very much w/in reach. As someone who has run 13 marathons, I can tell you that rare is the day that a marathoner goes in feeling adequately prepared. Life gets in the way…and it is always, always always better to be slightly undertrained than overtrained. Did I mention always?

    You’ve got it. And you’re going to enjoy the experience so much–you’ll miss your kids but it truly is an amazing experience–you haven’t heard cheering until you hit Wellesley–it will give you goose bumps.

    • This. made. my. morning. Thank you!! I think I needed to hear “it’s okay to feel the way you do, now move forward”. That, and remind the world I can be a really big baby sometimes!

  4. I think most (honest) runners will admit they’ve been here. [And the consequence of going in feeling all, “Hot dang! I got this, no problem! 26 miles? I’m down for THIRTY six miles if necessary!” or similar…probably leads to 8 too-fast-off-the-gun miles, anyway. ;-)] Life brought craziness – and a whole lot of awesome (it’s there, I promise!) – this training cycle. You’re probably there already – but have fun, relish the experience, enjoy every step, and see what the clock says at the end! [Confident that, no matter WHAT it says, you’ll have some awesome buttheads waiting to great you like a rock star when you get back home. ;-)]

  5. “Things at Casa de Striding Mom have been really tough for the last month in the personal arena leaving me spent, burnt out (beyond running) and probably excessively whiny. Maybe I’m a brat, but mostly, I’m just really raw.”

    SAMESIES.

  6. Hey Sheila hello! I read a few of your blog posts…first of all, congrats on running the marathon and so glad that you are well and safe! I didn’t realize how close you had been to all of the happenings in Boston! I know that we haven’t talked in a long while but it seems that there is a lot going on in your life. I just want you to know that I am thinking about you and praying that all is ok with you. If you want me to talk I’d be more than happy to listen and of you don’t that’s fine too…just know I am thinking of you and your boys. It seems that you have big things going on in your life. You can e-mail me at mollyasimpson@gmail.com if you want to chat. I don’t really want to post my phone number on a public blog. 🙂 Molly

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