True Confession Thursday: When Runs Suck

I’m that annoying runner.  When I’m running, I’m usually in my super happy fun place.

Screen Shot 2013-11-14 at 10.55.34 AM.pngWhen I run, “The Hills are Alive” and I’m mentally singing “I Feel So Pretty”.

Tra la la la la biker dude who almost hit me.  You can’t make me mad, because I’m running.

Big fat cheesy thumbs up to the kids walking groggily – Be cool stay in school!

I smile, I say hi to those around me and wish them a good morning/afternoon/evening.

But my last run was no such thing.  I got up early to beat the heat/sun intent on testing out my leg/endurance to see if I’m ready to run my most favorite trail race ever in 10 days.   After about 9 trips to the bathroom I finally set out and for 4 miles all I thought was, “This sucks.  I can’t run 5 miles.  I can’t even run 3.  I’m quitting racing.  I’m backing out of everything for the next few months.  I’m never going to run again.”

Clearly, I’m a very logical, grounded runner.

Remember two weeks ago when I loved running 4ever and ever and it was so super, mega gr8.  Apparently my relationship with running resembles that of 12 year old BFF girls.

So I walked.  I pouted.  I fought of nausea.  I questioned my ability to hold my bowels.

“What if I puke right now?  What if I crap my pants?  What if I’m puking and then start to crap my pants.”

But somehow, I just kept running….

I decided to quit at 5.  But at 5, I realized it wasn’t 100% awful, just 90%…and so I was going to do 6….I played this game with myself for 9 miles.

Actually it was really 8.98 on my GPS so I kept running in small circles until it got to 9.

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Source: Someecards

After I felt like a champ and totally didn’t regret the run it felt like a run that sucked.  I was even more nauseous, shaky and felt like junk all over.

What do I know about sucky runs?

-They don’t happen every single time.
-I’ll get over it.
-The next one isn’t usually as bad.
-I still got the miles in.
-Now I can get myself a treat from Starbucks.  #allworthitintheend

How do you recover from a craptastic run?

What’s the worst run you’ve had lately?  Tell me stories because misery love company.

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It’s About To Get Real

Miles:  4.2 (+1 bonus walking mile)
Minutes:  35:35
Starting Over Strides

Let’s just say you’ve been warned.  Today, we’re going to get real.

Last week, on vacay I got to meet some super awesome friends of my family.  Included in this was one Mrs. Cortney.  She’s a wicked awesome nurse hailing from Boston and had the cajones to actually invite me to her home for the marathon next year.  Bless her, she has no idea what she’s in for if I take her up on it!

Forgive the water drop blur, but this is the only pic I have of Cortney and I (plus my uncle) chillin’ like villains a la playa.

But I digress.  Cortney is an avid blog reader (*waves to her*), but ever so eloquently stated:

If I wrote a blog, it’d be all real.  Like, ‘Today I just want to rip my husbands balls off.  Or I felt really fat and lazy today.’

This was spoken with the most adorable slightly Boston accent.  Totally presh.

Anywho…which leads me to today’s post – Cort, this one’s for you.

Today was my first real-ish run post-injury.  I’ve run a few times but it’s been stop and go or in extreme conditions cutting it short.  I set out to do 4-5 miles.

I started out at a nice pace, or so I thought.  Until my MapMyRun app informed me I was running an 8:43 pace.   Sure I was on trails…but seriously…what?!

I wasn’t expecting to tear it up today, but it just deflated me.  Running that pace would have felt like walking a month ago.  So I ponied up and shaved it down to 8:15 for another 1.5 miles which still felt like slogging through Jello and was totally depressing.  Until….

An oldie but a goodie. Vanilla throws the BEST tantrums – always has. This is how I felt post-run. I may or may not have indulged.

Well, you see…my stomach pretty much still hates me from whatever parasitic, bacterial, I knew better than to eat raw veggies and salads but did it anyway and now regret it situation last week.  And about 2 miles in I got some oh too familiar cramping.  It started with a little twitch, then a rumble, then an all out futbol match in my large intestine.

People, you want to know when 2 miles feels like 8?  When you’re spending most of your time trying to figure out where to drop trou in the middle of a busy trail to unleash the wrath of my colon onto some unsuspecting bushes.

It was brutal.

The run ended badly, my attitude was bad, my stomach was bad, I was crabby despite the fact that my groin didn’t hurt – which means I should have been happy.

I have been toying with running the Low Tide Stride down in Coronado this weekend.  I’ll be luckily if I finish the darn race in 1 hour which might hurt my ego more than my groin.

Might be time to pony up and just be grateful eh?  I guess there’s always tomorrow.

Oh and for the record – no bushes were harmed in my run today.  I totally made it to a bathroom – barely.