The Voices Inside & Outside My Head

Miles:  12 cautious bike miles
Minutes:  35ish
Cycling Un-Strides

I actually did some swimming and treading water for about 20-25 minutes yesterday as well.  But I was pretty much refereeing the boys, so it didn’t feel like a physical workout – merely an exercise of my patience.

I hate the stuffy gym, but it felt so good to get my sweat on.  I was a little slow & reluctant at first, but slowly picked up the pace.  Strangely enough, my hip/groin felt significantly better after the activity.  Hmmm….

The pace of being on the exercise bike gives me more time to think compared to running.  For the last week I’ve been saving a few one liners the kids have had.  So I present to you – the voices in and out of my head….


You know, typical day in my house – hanging with Rihanna…

+My body feels all prickly.  That must mean I’m turning into an old man.

+Chocolate:  What kind of ice can you stick your tongue to?  Strawberry:  It’s not ice, it’s a frozen pole.  Chocolate:  I want to do that!

+Why does my penis look different than my brothers? (*so it begins*)

+Me:  Stop engaging your brother.  Chocolate:  Eww gross, I’m not marrying my brother!

+Chocolate:  Check it out – mom made vulture & chicken poop for dinner! (meatless orange chicken and brown rice – any meatless chicken is henceforth referred to as vulture)

+Me:  Go clean your room!  Vanilla:  Aye, aye Captain Underpants!

+Me:  Boys do you know what Great Grandmother’s first name is?  (Referencing their 98 year old, staunchly midwest Methodist Great-Grandmother who never so much as acknowledges alcohol).  Chocolate:  Margarita!  Me:  So close, Marguerite. 

+Strawberry:  Oh my gosh Mom!  ____ (Vanilla) is throwing a total fit.  He’s completely historical!!!

+My children put some uber creepy music on the keyboard, dress up in some sort of ninja like outfits and line up their stuffed animals into a pattern.  They then announce they are playing Hunger Games.  Uh, didn’t know they knew what that was!

+In the Hunger Games mode, I spot this when I walked into my living room:

Apparently ninjas, yoga and the Hunger Games all have something in common…

Strawberry then announces:  Pardon the interruption, our ninja master needed to get his head ready for battle.  He will be done momentarily.  Say what?!  Vanilla literally stood there pseudo-meditating for about 3 minutes then literally marched to his room apparently mentally prepared for battle.


If I had a dollar for every time I wanted to say this…

+One kid is in the bathroom going to the bathroom FOREVER to the point where we’re going to be late for school…I seriously start contemplating whether or not I should put “prolonged bowel evacuation” in the “reason” column for the tardy.

+It felt so good to sweat today…like REALLY sweat after nearly a week of barely “glistening” and mentally griping.  There’s nothing like seeing sweat puddle up on every part of your body and feel it drip off your face.

+ I’ve been trying to find a way to stay motivated while on my running hiatus.  Stay tuned…I’ve got some injury plans in the works 🙂  More to come on that in the near future!


On Quitting

That’s it folks – I’m a quitter.

Yes, Iofficially pulled from the Laguna Hills Half, 10k & 5k (all of which were options).

After realizing the half was out, I was toying with the 5k or 10k…but smart people around me got the best of me.  You see, the Aliso Viejo Patch (we’re talking big time media here!) was going to cover my son and I running our respective races – starting with our training, meeting us at the starting line and then the finish.  Knowing this was the case, I know I would not have taken it easy if when the pain kicked in and I would have pushed it hard so I wouldn’t look like a fool and likely leading to a severe injury.

So here’s to you Dr. Scott – I didn’t run.  Betcha thought I couldn’t resist.

In other news, I’m drowning my race pulling woes in fro yo and did my best to be a proud mom instead of a runner this morning.  How did I do this?

1. Early Worm:  I downed my 800 mg’s of ibuprofen, rolled some sleepy 5 year olds out of bed, got myself some caffeine and waited at the 3 mile mark to see Strawberry kill his PR.

2 boys, 2 power bars, 1 cup of caffeine + 1 cowbell = fun times!

2.  I Yelled:  Oh my word did I yell.  I taught my boys to cheer at the 3 mile mark of a 5k.  The following were our favorite phrases:

  • There’s someone right behind you – go faster!
  • Oh, you’re smiling.  Then you have enough energy to catch that person in front of you – now GO!
  • Move your arms faster – your legs will follow!
  • Go! Go! GO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
  • You’re almost there!
  • And my personal favorite to the half marathoners – Just 10 more miles! 

3.  Kickin’ It:  Have I told you Strawberry is a fantastic finishing ROCKSTAR!  I watched him literally spring the last 1/3 mile of the 5k.  And he KILLED it.  Bless him – the child shaved 2 minutes off his PR and ran a 26:41!  I am practically in tears thinking about his rockin’ finish for 7-year old 1st grader 🙂

That said, we also discussed that if he didn’t talk the entire race, he would likely run much faster.  Apparently he loves to chat with those around him when he races.

What? Sprint the last 1/3 mile- pshaw! Don’t mind if I do!

And on a total sidenote – am I the only person who looks at race pictures like this to see who is/isn’t heel striking?  Ugh, I think I have a sickness.

After this Vanilla & Chocolate (both 5) ran the 4-6 year old Kid’s Run – we ended up with a 2nd (Chocolate) and 6th (Vanilla) place finishes – out of 30+ kids they were both pleased.  Strawberry tried to run the kids half after his 5k, he ended up finishing by barely jogging across the finish line looking like he wanted to die.  Pobrecita!

Check out those running studs!

4.  We Yelled:  No joke, we sat at the 13 mile mark and played the “Someone’s going to catch you!” and “If you’re still smiling you can catch the person in front of you game.”  People, it was hilarious – I believe about 40 runners can attribute their last minute finishes to my children and I toying with them.  We giggled, we cheered, we rang the cowbell as loud as we could and it was a blast to just be a spectator.

5.  We Papped.  Yes, the writer of the paper decided to go ahead with the story and take a spin at a 7 year old who runs 5k’s (and trains with me locally in the city’s trails).  Strawberry chatted with the paparazzi – prof pics & article to come.  I’m dying to see how it turns out.  He was absolutely presh (and totally sweaty).

What?! Not everyone has a reporter following them post-race for interviews? Totes normal for me!

6.  I Dwelled.  At one point some very elite looking runner found me staring at the results.

Him:  What are you doing?
Me:  You don’t want to know.
Him:  Give it a shot.
Me:  I was supposed to run this race so I was looking at my projected time to see where I would have placed.
Him:  That is completely and totally….acceptable. 

He laughed and walked away.

7. We Played.  Oh yeah we played.  There’s a redhead contest at a local strawberry festival every year so we went up to visit.  We rode rides and I continued to wallow in my race cancellation woes by indulging in a strawberry supreme – you don’t even want to know….

What’s that you ask? Oh, it’s two of my children WAY up in the air on the giant wheel of death celebrating their triumphant morning.

Cake, soft serve, half a pound of strawberries & whipped cream – that’ll take the edge off this morning…

Truth be told…I wanted to be like Vanilla- who after a super early start and spending the entire day in the heat, literally had a meltdown in the middle of the festival.  I kept up a *mostly* happy face, but honestly I was still totally disappointed.

Good parenting – taking a picture of said fit. Don’t worry it stopped quickly after it started.

Saturday Roundup

After four months of looking at this daily, I’m going to have to cross 10 miles off this list 😦

I should could write about running here – but I’m a little bitter.  I promise I’ll post more on that but let’s say my hip/groin and I are in cahoots and it’s not a pretty battle.

During race packet pickup today for the Laguna Hills Half (my hometown race!) I had to go to the dreaded “Solutions” table and utter the words “downgrade”.  What I’m downgrading to – I’m not sure yet, but I am certainly not running the half which is a monster bummer since I only had 2 spring goals:  -Finish my first full & place the Laguna Hills Half.

That said I tried to make the day fun with the bambinos to make up for it.  And they’ve done their best to help.

First of all – THEY SLEPT IN.

Can I get a round of “Hallelujiah’s!”?

Then we lazily watched cartoons and read books in bed.  Around 9 (what?!?!) we finally headed out to use our free coupons we’ve been saving for Bruegger’s Bagels & Juice It Up!

What? You don’t wear neon green suspenders with YOUR pajamas? At Juice It Up!

We then had a monster bowling tournament on Wii, played games, read more books and were generally lazy.  We have had plans, work, tournaments, games, etc. for the last few months so we all NEEDED this morning.

We then picked up some race packets.   The highlight: doggie treats.  What?! We don’t own a dog, but we now have 4 packages of MilkBone treats.  I hear they’re replacing Gu packs on long runs.

After picking up some race packets, we continued on the lazy train by me cutting up all the leftover fruits & veggies in the fridge and making a monster salad.  (So good btw: mango, avocado, green onion, yellow peppers, spinach, romaine & all sorts of other goodies!).

And in a giant effort to tempt fate (surely someone is carrying some gnarly virus we will all now come down with in approximately 3.3 hours),  I once again slid into my classy pants and forewent bowls, plates and individual servings- threw the giant salad bowl on the patio table, tossed in a few forks, called the boys up from their bikes and told ’em to dig in.

What? Bowls, forks, plates? Mommy is a total classy pants so we ate it out of the giant bowl together.


Lest you think I was treating my children like livestock by schlepping down a giant bowl of scraps from the fridge and making everyone eat from the same corral, be assured no one complained.


Next up on our lazy, crazy day – a pizza swimming party.  Boys are in heaven, batteries are recharging and I’m only half in denial that my hip/groin is really injured.

Hey, has anyone seen any ibuprofen??

Summer’s Coming!

Strawberry LEAPING into Summer last year!

I could say something fun or profound – or just say – my hip hurt today.  Like REALLY bad.  Yesterday I was doing some speedwork on the dreadmill at the gym and around 2.5 miles my whole lower half seized up so I jogged to a halt, stretched, iced and called it a day.

Instead of being crabby about the fact I have a half marathon on Monday and I’m not sure what this means -I’m resolved to consider dropping down to the 10k if needed and focusing on something else – SUMMER’S COMING.

What? you ask.  Don’t you live in SoCal – land o’ perpetual summer?  

Ummm, yeah.  So what if it’s 85 degrees and we’re at the beach in February?

Summer’s coming and it just FEELS different.  Just to tame the heart for the next month until school gets out – last year’s summer in pictures….

The sun & the sand

Sangria in Mommy’s Hand


Hillbilly swimming

And Hillbilly Sangria (ftr, this was *mostly* staged)

Sporting my classy pants once again

Small Victories

The week is young, but I have a slew of small victories under my belt, so why not celebrate.

–>I got 15 miles in over the weekend.  Complete with 2 beach runs, 8 massive hill intervals, dolphins, bloody nipple sightings (not mine!), and capped off with a mile walk on the beach.

–>How can you not smile when you see these boys having so much fun?  Not a care in the world…except for landing of course!

Off he goes!

–>When Chocolate used the carpeting as a canvas for his silver metallic ink pad 2’x3′ creation in the middle of his bedroom floor, I didn’t swear *out loud*.

–>We got to see the solar eclipse in all it’s glory (this pic doesn’t do it justice).

Total eclipse of So Cal! We literally cloud stalked and drove about 4 miles to keep up with this!

–>When Chocolate used same said ink pad for his face and it wouldn’t come off, I only sorta cried.  In other news I am going to wrap him in foil and send him to school as the tin man for the rest of the week.

–>I successfully used every disgusting word I could to make the ultimate 7-year old boy mad lib and officially attained hero status in my son’s eyes.  Somewhere out there he’s telling his friends about how his mom drove a poopy barfball car to the stinky grocery store.

–>Vanilla is officially writing SENTENCES!  Evreebody git ixitid!  We went frum not reeding to riting sentnses in trhee wekes!

–>Did you know that about 50 ounces of rubbing alcohol and 5 hand towels get an entire ink pad out of carpeting?  My house will likely smell like a hospital until my kids graduate high school, but the carpet is cleaned.

–> Strawberry has officially turned into Popeye.

What?! Green beans, dinner sans a shirt, and tatted up arms. I’m kind of a big deal. In other news, Mom turn on the A/C and maybe I’ll show up to dinner fully clothed!

Urban Run

10.34 miles
Stylin’ Strides

So after the last crazy few weeks of work, I realized I needed to get away, unplug, recharge, whatever you want to call it for a few hours before I blew my top yesterday.  I wasn’t quite sure how to do this, but I knew I’d figure out a way.

My cousin…and me bringing sexy back with my compression sleeves.  True story, look above her head and a giant hot dog is pouring ketchup on her…

Here’s the thing – if you were to ask anyone in the entire world who knows me to use my name and the word spontaneous in the same sentence…well…

Basically you’d not get a response because they would be laying on the floor laughing too hard to respond.

So this spontaneous plan was a big stretch.

I got a call from my fabulous cousin (yes I’m talking to you) asking if I wanted to meet up at a festival.  So I spontaneously pulled over in said city and decided to park my car and run 10 miles to the festival (I’d cab it back with them later).

A few things.

A- I am NOT familiar with the ins and outs of this city.

B- Who wants to walk around with me for hours after a 10+ miler in the hot So Cal sun?

C- I was desperate – who cared?

Citrusy Hydration Station

So here’s the low down on my urban run:

  • I got lost.  Like SERIOUSLY lost.  Ended up in the worst part of town watching multiple drug deals kind of lost.  Yes, I saw 3 of them.
  • I found an awesome cheering squad from as surprising population – the homeless.  Lots of cheers, high 5’s and maybe some comments I couldn’t quite (or didn’t want to) understand.
  • I am trying to start a fashion trend by wearing compression sleeves to street festivals.  Surprisingly it didn’t catch on.
  • Running is usually my stress release, but even after 10+ miles it was all balled up.
  • After last week’s hydration mistake, I wasn’t going to let that happen again so I was sure to double hydrate:  Orange Nuun & Shocktop (to keep with the citrus theme).  They actually paired surprisingly well.

After a few hours of run, sun & fun I made my way home to finish up some reports I had waiting.  It was a much needed break…and quite the adventure.

My question to you is what post-run beers pair well with which Nuun flavors?

I’m thinking a taste test might be in order!  Any takers?


Sane-less Strides
Clearly not enough

It’s been kind of a wild week few weeks.  So honestly, I’ve been having a hard time logging my runs or even remembering if I put underwear on in the morning.  I’ve been squeezing them in when/how I can.  Usually thanks to my sister visiting – the WEE hours of the morning or a quick 20-30 minutes in the evening.

Courtesy of Shrek 2 and my awesome sister, I did get a late evening of Yassos (this blog explains Yassos better than I can) in on Wednesday which was nice.  I kept ’em betwen 3:00-3:20 (I tanked on the last one and knew it) but it felt good to pound out a lot of pent up frustration on the pavement.

Unfortunately, no tips were received for the performance.

That said, there’s been a ton of contradictions this week…

My “all-boy” nephew shed his Midwest roots to provide a little entertainment for those at the Veggie Grille by providing a little pole dance.

You must look past that rough, rugged exterior, hoarse little “man-boy” voice and realize this kid’s got some serious moves.

Yay Whole Foods!

In other news, we just got a Whole Foods in my neighborhood peeps!  I like to think I’m a “Whole Foods” kind of gal – keeping it light and healthy.  Except I can basically afford an apple there.

Instead, I drove right past it and pulled into my favorite breakfast burrito place to get my sister her favorite breakfast.  I may or may  not have had half of the approximately 10-lb burrito chocked full of calorie laden goodness – eggs, hash browns, cheese, avocado & salsa.  At this moment, my intestines hate me for even thinking about it.

She may look adorable, but don’t let this sly, sweet smile deceive you.

One night I took a little break from work to help my niece fall asleep.  I snuggled into bed with this little cutie for about 10 minutes to rub her back as she fell asleep.  Right before she knocked out, she backed her little rear into my stomach for a little spooning sesh.

I was thrilled to have a tender moment with my niece I hardly ever get to see in person (we have more a Skype/iPhone relationship).

That is…until she lets out and rips the loudest fart known to come out of a little compact body.

Adorable.  *gag*

Keeping it classy peeps

And lastly, I turned in my classy pants for a little taste of the busy & lazy (aka I don’t have time to put my food onto a plate) by apparently eating my meals from any and every container they came in and not using proper plating.

Wait, that’s not a contradiction…I have never owned a pair of classy pants in my life.

That’s probably more normal than not.

Any contradictions in your week?