True Confession Thursday: Decisions, Decisions

A while back, I saw a note that the Boston Marathon was opening up some limited entries to those who had some sort of impact from the bombing last April.  I skinnied down my experience and submitted an application.

To my surprise I got this in my inbox on Wednesday morning:

Screen Shot 2013-12-04 at 5.31.16 PM.pngOh my word yes, yes, yes a million times yes I want to go.  But then I came back down to reality and remembered life and responsibilities, yada yada yada.  So after some reflection and a pretend glass of red wine I got to thinking….

Thinking about the time it takes to train, the fact that the boys were pretty traumatized by my last trip and concern about how they will handle/worry about my being in Boston again especially with what is bound to be high media coverage.  Let’s face it, we talked about bombs for months after the event, nightmares were had, pictures were drawn and tears shed about the event and the worry they experienced.

Photo Courtesy of the OC Register when Strawberry first saw me after the race....

Photo Courtesy of the OC Register when Strawberry first saw me after the race..

I desperately want to be there to do my thing, but I’ve got to think of the impact of my attendance on the boys.  A little mommy resolution is not worth a weekend of anxious, worried kiddos.

Our happy reunion!

Our happy reunion!

So instead, I pinky swore Strawberry that I would run the Boston Marathon with him when he was old enough and qualified enough to do so.  That little nugget puts his mind to things and they happen.  And with that, I can likely say see ya in Beantown 2024!

And so my confession is the struggle of any mom, no less working mom.  There’s the struggle between what you yourself want to do:  train hard, be fast(er), and run all the things.  And what you need to do:  pack lunches, work the job, drive to practices, dig erasers out of noses, schedule doctor’s appointments, etc.

I have my resolve, but in this phase of my life…the hearts and minds of those little boys get to trump that.  So Boston, I will see you soon.  I don’t know when…but know that I’m coming for you in the future!

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14 thoughts on “True Confession Thursday: Decisions, Decisions

  1. There was no “right” decision but you certainly made a good decision — one that puts your boys first and has the bonus of eliminating any mommy guilt and worry you would have felt had you decided to go. I wish it didn’t have to be that way for you but I commend you for your choice! I think those photos are priceless.

    • I loved this! I think I spend too much time trying to make the “right” one when there’s really just good and best….And these photos are some of my most favorite ever!!

  2. I really support this choice–great, mature move on your part, even though I’m sure it wasn’t easy. You’re a great example!

  3. Being an adult totally sucks sometimes doesn’t it? A hard decision but I can imagine how difficult it would be for your kids to watch you go back there after what happened last time. Upside, less training in the winter. Oh yeah, you don’t get that do you? 😉

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