Ride ‘Em Cowboy

14 Miles
Startling Strides

Sunday was my second valiant attempt at a longer run.  I’m not going to sugar coat anything.  Since the amazing runs of December, leading to a big PR mid-month leading to about 3 weeks of nothingness, well….

I haven’t had a good run since. 

It’s completely disheartening.  I’ve been in slumps before, but usually after 2-3 weeks I can at least pull a decent run out of my behind.  And speaking of behinds, let me explain why this run was a bust.

[please note, this is gross and personal…intrigued? read on. disgusted? stop right now]

I should be ashamed of myself

I should be ashamed of myself

You know that phase, it really chaps my ass?

Well, I learned what it mean to have a chaffed ass.  I have faced a lot of pain running – pushed through pulls, tweaks, etc.  But when things got a little, err…uncomfortable in the southern hemisphere around mile 12.5 I thought it was no big deal to make it the 2.5 miles home.  By mile 13.75 I called for a ride and by mile 14 I was walking down the side of the road awaiting my chariot like a cowboy who rode from LA to Vegas on his horse.

Everyone in the car laughed watching me waddle down the street.

It’s okay, I might have laughed too.

I wouldn’t wish that pain on anyone.  When I literally say I could not run a single step further, there is no ounce of exaggeration in that statement.

So there’s a first time for everything.  

The best part is that when I got picked up, I was asked if I should have used BodyGlide.

Me: I  don’t know…I’ve never had an issue like this before.  

A little back story on the body glide.  Last summer, Strawberry won a stick at a Road Runner Sports night and I quickly confiscated it from him.

Icing on the cake?  At Road Runner VIP night Strawberry did an 8:00 min timed mile and then won the prize every 7 year-old dreams of - Body Glide. The best part of it all - explaining what Body Glide is used for.

As this conversation about appropriate places to put BodyGlide and how exactly does one’s bum get chaffed is taking place, a little voice from the back seat chirps up chiming into the conversation.

Strawberry:  Uh, well if that’s the case, I certainly don’t want that Body Glide back from you mom.  Thanks.

Ahhh, out of the mouths of babes.

So the saggin’ wagon picked me up, because my butt hurt.  How about ‘dem apples when it comes to excuses to not finish a run?

Where’s the weirdest place you’ve chaffed?

Have you ever stolen something from your kids?

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5 thoughts on “Ride ‘Em Cowboy

  1. HAha! Aww man. I’m sorry lady. That sounds muy suckish. My brother once had to tear the shorts off of his chaffed A** one morning after they had fused to his chaffage. It. Was. Horrible.
    Hope it heals with a quickness.
    p.s. My gym bag is stolen from my kid. Luckily he hasn’t noticed it missing yet!

    • Oh my word your brother’s situation sounds like the WORST thing I can imagine. Glad I stopped running when I did. I mean the pain might be bad, but to lose a precious pair of cargos…unthinkable!

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