The Mom Game

Rest Day Monday
4 Miles Tuesday
Screaming Strides

On Sunday evening I noticed my IT band was tweaky.  And I mean really tweaky.  It didn’t hurt during my run.  It didn’t hurt right after.  But instead, at some point a few hours later it got really, really really angry.

My ITB was probably taking a cue from it’s rightful owner….me.  So I rested Monday and took it easy Tuesday (no pain then yay!)

And this is where Striding Mom gets a little more Mom, than Striding and a little more real than status quo.

Insert gratuitous post of children I love...

Insert gratuitous post of children I love…

So basically people – let me just cut to the chase – WHAT’S WITH THE JUDGMENT?

Over the past 4 or so days I’ve heard people say some of the harshest things about being a parent, a person, and a general human being.  The ones that irk me the most are the parenting ones though.

It’s funny because my kids talk about how “unfair” I am all of the time.

“What?  You won’t let me play Halo?  That’s harsh Mom, ____[insert name of friend] can!”

“Huh?  I can’t eat 3 desserts today?  That’s ridiculous!”

“Mom, you’re so lame.  You won’t let me play darts over my brothers head with steak knives.  I bet ____’s Mom would let them.”

You know what I tell them?  Different families, different rules.  And we carry on.  Why can’t we parents apply this rule to one another?

Oh, but on some level I get it.  I’ve raised my eyebrow at other parents and scorned their choices at times.  I’ve wondered why they weren’t using the Striding Mom Guide to Parenting that so clearly works…well, at least 50% of the time.  I mean, I was guilty just the other night.  But the fact of the matter is.

You. Never. Know.

IMG_2012Until you’ve walked [or run] a few miles in someone else’s shoes you just don’t know what their reality is like.

Truth be told, we’re dealing with some “stuff” with one of my boys.  It’s behavioral stuff, it involves diagnosing things and it’s so very hard.  Let me tell you, my son’s behavior is not because I’m not giving him enough attention, boundaries, praise, discipline, etc.  It’s because there is something different about him.  I’m not sure what yet, but we’re slowly finding out.

And yes, I’m embarrassed sometimes by the choices he makes, but I can’t show you that, because it will hurt his heart like you wouldn’t believe.  So I push that aside and support him.

And I have bad days too.  And I get frustrated with him too – more than I should.  And that breaks my heart as well.  He’s learning.  I’m learning.  We’re all learning.

So next time, before you offer your unsolicited advice about anything to anyone (because trust you me, this goes so far beyond parenting), let’s be sure to remember some wise words from Dr. Seuss…

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Have you had your mellow harshed this week?

Any wise lessons you’ve learned from walking in someone else’s shoes?

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9 thoughts on “The Mom Game

  1. Oh gosh–amen to that! There really is no place for parents to judge each other. We are ALL in different situations and have to do what works best for ourselves.

    Sending you good vibes as you work through the diagnosis with your son.

  2. I tell my kids the exact same phrase, “different house different rules.” So true it’s all just a learning experience for parent and child. We’re not perfect and that is so hard for me to accept sometimes. I guess it’s like running, one.step.at.a.time. Ps…are you so glad CIM didn’t work out?! Life is funny, eh?

  3. I have a professor who used to say, “We all do the best with what we have.” What that means is that we are all trying our best. So when someone is a complete disaster and it’s easy to think, “Why can’t you just get it together? It’s not that hard!” The truth is that it’s hard for them. And empathy, rather than judgement would be helpful. It’s hard to remember at times, but I try to remind myself of this when I get irritated with people. Also, I try to remember that they’re God’s child. That probably only works if you believe in God, but it’s very humbling when I have to remember that God created that person with purpose.

  4. My kids hear at least one of these everyday:

    ‘everybody is somebody’s baby’ and ‘you don’t know what happened/was said to them this morning’

    I’m tryin really hard to raise empathetic kids who think about the person behind the behavior and the people behind them. None of us is created equal no matter what we like to say and none of us is given an equal shake. Some of those differences are just easier to see. I find it’s beat to assume you never know what brought a person to where they are, just to remember that something did.

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