The No Drama Mama

3ish miles??
30 minute run
Watch Free Strides

Sometimes, a girl just needs a change of pace.  So when I headed out for my run this morning I ditched the GPS and tunes.

I love my GPS.

I love hearing that stern but sexy voice whispering sweet somethings about how far and fast I’m running into my ear as I pound the pavement.

“Distance three and a half miles.  Pace eight minutes and twelve seconds.”

If I could envision the voice of this spunky robot, but often I imagine she looks like this when I’m running too slow.

If I could program these things I would make it sound angrier the slower I run.  I’d even allow for users to type phrases she would repeat during the run.

“That’s only a donut burned lazy.  Keep ‘er going.”

“9 more miles until a bagel.”

“Honey, can you say MARATHON in two months, pick up your feet and quit your mental whining, these headphones are in your ears and I can hear everything you think.”

“Did you just pee a little?  Seriously, again Sheila?”

It’s no secret that I have a little issue with this thing called control.  So knowing exactly how far I’m running and how fast just makes me happy sane.  So typically I like adding that little GPS voice to the others in my head.

But sometimes, it’s nice to just unplug and not know how far I’m going.

While the rest of my day was mostly sunshine and roses coming out my…uhhh…dupa I will share the conversation that happened after I got home from work.

I noticed one of the kinders was a little “off” so I sat down on the couch and asked what was up.  Immediately the floodgate of tears was unleashed and the following ensued:

This isn’t from today, but is pretty representative of the scene…except this time I was actually trying to console, not document the drama-tastic tantrum

Child:  Buuut, and then…it’s just so hard! [slow, steady sobs]  They just go bam! bam! bam!  and I just can’t and it’s just challenging.  [moderate sobs] No one understands me.  No one gets it.  It’s so important and….[wailing commences]…I just can’t control it, you know what I mean [more sobs]

Me:  Uhh kiddo, what exactly are we talking about?  [ready to call the Principal with visions of him getting the living tarnation kicked out of him floating through my head]

Child:  [gasping for breath through sobs] Kickball.

It’s really tough to be 5 and a half.

What would you like your GPS to yell at you?
Do you ever unplug on your runs?  

Are you a distance obsessed snot like me?
What’s the best run you’ve had lately?


15 thoughts on “The No Drama Mama

  1. I think I would like my Garmin just to tell me to stop being a whiny *rhymes with witch* whenever I start to slow down or wuss out on a run. And something like ‘don’t you dare give up now’, at mile 22 of a marathon.
    I seems to have an intense need to know how far I have gone, so the only times I go Garmin-less on a run is when I am running a route that I already know how far it is; otherwise I am always plugged in.
    On a side-note, I loved that you took a pic of your kid, mid-cry.

    • Oh don’t you know he got hugs galore. Then he sat next to me and painted while I finished up a work product. That little boy loves himself some “shoulder” time – working/playing side by side.

  2. oh, your poor baby! I’m sure if my 5-year-old read blogs he’d comment with an “amen, brother” to your child’s dramatic situation.
    I would like for my GPS to yell rude, demeaning statements to me. “You’re doing great!!” just doesn’t do it for me. Is that weird?

  3. This morning’s run takes the cake. Seven 800’s done in the only hour of the day not dominated by a crushing headache. I guess I thought the sick was over when I woke up but it was not. Definitively not.

  4. Aw! Poor guy! Kick ball was pretty traumatic for me too as a kid. And dodgeball, softball, volleyball…basically anything with balls. I was truly the last girl picked in gym class. Tell him to call me. We can share our sob stories.

    • I’m sure he’d be happy to sit down and tell you about the trauma that is kick ball. Ironically when I picked him up from school yesterday he was engaged in a game where he was doing just fine. Ahhhh – to be 5 again 🙂

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