True Confession Thursday: Did I Say That?

30 minutes on the bike
30 minutes coaching soccer practice
Slightly Swollen Strides

It’s Thursday kids!  You know what time it is?

Nope, not Tool Time.  It’s time for me to get real.  Usually these are outrageously real and light hearted.  So if that’s what you’re looking for – here:

We’ve had quite a few noticeable earthquakes lately.  The kids have probably felt 3-4 in the last week so I was explaining what causes earthquakes:  plates, building pressure, the Earth’s need to release, yada yada yada.  The first analogy that popped into my head was farting.  Fabulous.  So now my kids think earthquakes are the planet’s way of letting a gassy lunch go.

Now for the real stuff.  And by real…I mean REAL.

I was cruising on Facebook and learning about really important things like Rebecca Black’s new song is releasing and stumbled across this gem of a quote.

Don’t worry, I’m just pretend yelling in the picture. When I really yell my veins stick out just a little more.

Mother trucker.

I’m not going to lie, it stopped me dead in my tracks.  Sadly this was the second time I had seen it.  The first time I read it, I went to a super fabulous place called de-nial.  But this time there was no ignoring it.

I felt sucker punched.

I have spent a significant amount of time lately reacting to my kids instead of responding.  The do, I react.  They don’t do, I react.  Sometimes I find myself saying things and wondering when I’ve turned into my mother (love you Mom! you’re the best) who I’ve become.

Some kids get foot and mouth disease, I’m feeling a major case of foot in mouth disease.

My goal lately has been to just take a deep breath before I say anything.

This is so much harder than a 5am 20-miler.  I’m not even kidding.

My voice, my winces, my reactions are creating my children’s inner voices.  Oh sure, sometimes it’s funny.   Strawberry literally had the entire neighborhood pool in hysterics when he kept dropping the toys he was carrying and declared, “Oh my gosh, I’m a total hot mess”.  But watching his teeth clench when he’s upset and I know he’s being too hard on himself is like looking in a flipping mirror.

I’m thinking a lot about the voices in my kid’s head (and I’m hoping there’s only one in each respective little cabeza of theirs) and what they hear now and will hear in the future.  I hope it’s forgiving, gracious, loving, and kind – not only to others, but to themselves as well.  I want their inner voices to be confident, merciful and joyful.

The challenge is that I have to get my “voice” there first.  I need to stop reacting, start responding and make sure the voices in my head are giving a true read on what’s actually going on.  It’s time to stop playing the worry, people pleasing, and internal berating on repeat.

All of this begs the question:  Why don’t kids come with a manual?  It’d be so much easier eh?

Do you need to change your inner voice?
If you have kids, what do you want their inner voices to be like?

11 thoughts on “True Confession Thursday: Did I Say That?

  1. Oh my goodness, I could have written this post word for word, right down to my super anxious five year old reacting to situations and being so hard on herself – but you said it a lot better. I, too have seen this quote numerous times recently and I think about it ALL the time now in dealing with my kids, especially now that two of them are in full day school land. I love everything you wrote – I am on the same page as you – really trying to respond, not react and make each moment count. Wow. Thank you for this post! Glad to know I’m not the only one stewing over this thought!!:)

    • I’m so glad I’m not the only one. Really, there are so many time a day I pull a Homer Simpson “Doh!” because of what I do or how I react. And yes, this quote is marinating in my brain in the most uncomfortable, effective way 🙂

  2. Thanks for posting and being so vulnerable. This was definitely a post I want to remember both as a parent and as a teacher. 🙂

  3. Can we just do Tool Time, next week? This post made me think and feel way too much…
    Great quote/reminder.
    Anytime you want to write up that manual, I’ll buy it for sure!!

    • Ha ha…I promise we’ll keep it light next week. Let me reassure you I have learned my lesson for writing serious posts. I had EVERY chance to practice this all. day.long due to a daycare fluke.

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