I’m a Vampiric Steeple Chaser

14.80 miles
Minutes – who needs minutes (dang GPS fail)
Stupid, Stupid, Very Sweaty Strides

Dear iMapMyRun,

You and I have had such a great relationship.  You whisper sweet everythings into my ear, begging me to go faster or sometimes take it nice and slow with you.  We’ve gone all sorts of places, but today you failed me in the worst of ways, and my legs.  Well, they just might not be able to forgive you.


I be so smart sometimes.

This might be pretty, or the death of me, who knows?

Embracing my inner vampire I opted to get up pre-dawn to get a 10-ish mile run in before the sun decided to wreak heat havoc on the OC.   As I watched the sky turn from purple to blue and then the yellow crept over the mountains, I had myself thoroughly convinced I would burst into flames.

But lest the heat distract me from the early morning torture run, I suddenly had a new distraction: the IMMEDIATE need for a bathroom.

Bathroom spotted- but not without a challenge.  Fence hopping anyone?  I did just say I wanted to run the steeplechase right?

Nothing says fun like trying not to defecate  while hopping over 2 fences during a run.

Thanks to a GPS fail and monster brain fart, I wandered too far from home and I realized I was about 6 miles from my house about 20 minutes before I needed to be home for a proper cool down and shower before work.  Oopsies.

[Begin massive panic induced tempo run]

And that kids, is how 10 miles becomes 16 total.

Literally classy pants.

When all was said and done I had run about 15 miles, walked 1, and had 13 minutes to shower & stretch.  I took a freaky fast cold shower to stop the sweating and slide my bright red Aspaeris Pivots under a sundress in hopes my hips and quads would forgive me for not taking care of them after my run.

Most importantly, I made it to my meeting on time. 

This was a super awesome plan until…well, I forgot I had had a dermatologist appointment after my meetings.  I walked in and they promptly asked me to “disrobe to your underwear”.  Surprise Dr!  Forgets the tidy whities, I be wearing patriotic compression shorts!  (No I cannot wear underwear underneath anything tight, sorry)

So kids, when you need to always have clean underwear on, remember to have clean compression shorts on as well (luckily mine were!)


4 thoughts on “I’m a Vampiric Steeple Chaser

  1. Kudos for adding an extra challenge (fence-jumping) to your already challenging run. Stay close to the phone! The steeple-chase coach should be calling any second, now…;)

    I had to jump in a freezing, rushed shower, throw on a sundress (i was sweating too badly to don anything else) and flip-flops when I over-ran a long one. I made it to The Littlest’s school on time but, literally, almost passed out from lack of post-run routine. Your vivid story brought that lovely memory back. Thanks!!

Tell me about it! Leave a comment here...

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s