Laughs

5 mile progressive run (8, 7:08, 7:02, 7:00, 8:26 cool down)
Summer’s Finally Here Sweaty Strides

This morning was the first real summer run.  Okay stop throwing things at me from your computer screen.  In SoCal summer’s always delayed so we don’t fire up until August.  When you’re all prancing around in the crisp fall air wearing cool sweaters, it will be 102 degrees here.

As I dwelled on the change in weather I remembered a conversation I happened upon the other day with a group of mostly non-mom runners.  It got me thinking about how my running is affected post-kids….

Compression? Forget the shorts and socks – these guys execute the full body compression after a long run.

#1.  No Plan Stan.  While Hal Higdon could write a training plan for me and post it on my bathroom mirror himself, I wouldn’t be able to stick to it.  Just wouldn’t happen.  I’m at the mercy of little people with big needs.  And I’m okay with that…which leads me to #2

#2.  Attention Progression.  Before I used to be able to go out and dilly dally on my runs if I wanted.  But now, I literally have to run the exact times I planned or faster.  It forces me to push myself for every mile on almost every run.  There’s no room to mess around.  And I wholly attribute that to me actually shaving time off of my races.  I have to have laser-like focus on the runs they’re not with me and make every second count.

#3.  The Tinkle Sprinkle.  Okay, I’m not going to lie, when I sprint I pee a little.  Whatevs.  I just pretend it’s sweat.  If I ever see you at a race don’t let me sit on your lap if I had a really strong finish.  I know you’re totally disappointed aren’t you?

Another question posed – would make you lose your sense of humor?  Oh the stories I could tell.  Kids give you AMAZING material.

My buttheads -they are funnier than any adults I know. And cuter.  They have a quip and comeback for everything.  I have no idea where they got that from.

Kids made me go from a Type A, control freak with a marginal sense of humor to a Type A control freak who’s learned to let go a little bit and laughs too many times a day to count.  My kids say things the best writers in the world couldn’t make up.

Case in point – A few years ago I was at Disneyland and had all 3 boys in the stall with me (helicopter mom, yes, they were all under 5).  As I sit down on the toilet the following conversation takes place.

I kid you not my mom took this two weeks ago and they struck this pose on their own. Yes Vanilla is wearing leopard suspenders with a purple shirt, you gotta problem with that?

Chocolate:  [Loudly] Oh that’s right Mom, you don’t have a penis!

Vanilla:  [Looking incredulously at Chocolate] Duh, girls don’t have pensises, they have [loud & slowly] vah-jine-ahhhhs, DUHHHH!

{Giggles emerge from all stalls around me as I’m trying to hold it together.  A few moments of quiet pass as Strawberry starts looking very reflective.


Strawberry
:  Hmmm…vagina…is that French?

I kid you not every woman in that bathroom stopped peeing on the spot and the entire bathroom erupted into fits of laughter.

I practically sprinted out of the bathroom without making eye contact with a single person and immediately called my mother and told her that somehow this had to be her fault.

This is one of the MYRIAD of stories I’ve had.  Kids keep me feet quick, my laughs unending, my heart light and my screaming loud.

Does the thought of having children paralyze you?
If you’ve got ’em how has it changed your running life?

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7 thoughts on “Laughs

  1. Kids are the funniest. I don’t know how people without a sense of humor deal with them. They must be super lame.

    I didn’t start running until my youngest was 4, and I am super lucky to have a dude at my house that is really great about supporting that.

    • Awesome that you have a supportive dude! And yes, if you don’t have a sense of humor I don’t think you can parent. In fact I think having a good sense of humor is right up there with patience in the list of parenting necessities. Oh, that and wine. 😉

  2. hahaha!
    Your kids are hilarious. It’s still not always easy to laugh at the things our kids throw our way. Some moms are not able to let go and roll with it. Sounds like you’ve mastered that, though.

    I wasn’t a runner prior to having kids. On the one hand, I’ll never be able to enjoy the freedom non-mom runners have. On the flipside, I can’t miss something I never had. 😉

      • So true. My kids embarass me daily, and not just with their awesome eating habits. I’ve also taken up running since kids and think I’ve traded the chance to run when and where I want for the solace that comes from a few quiet moments doing anything alone.

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